1) Trick-or-Treat their whole lives.
(Bonus points if you leave the gray hair and wrinkles alone and go as an old person.)
2) Ride in a shopping cart.
(Two words. Dwarf Jousting.)
3) Check out people’s butts without looking like a perv.
(Hey, not my fault your tush is at my eye level.)
4) Blame farts on the dog.
(Just cuz that smell came from floor level does not automatically make it mine.) *It helps if you have a dog.
5) Go under those stretchy barricades at the bank, concert, wherever.
(Sorry officer, I thought I felt something brush my head but didn’t know what it was. OH. That was supposed to keep people out? Ooops, my bad.)
6) Wear 5 dollar stretch granny shorts as dress slacks.
7) Get lollipops from the bank drive through or toys from the dentist’s “kids box”.
(Don’t judge me! I have a thing for stickers.)
1/2) Write lists like this. Neener.